A Modest Proposal on Body Standards

Herds of panicking teenagers pathetically stare at Instagram and swarm around Twitter. Gawking as their eyeballs follow the fictitious lives of Instagrammers and Youtubers. They zoom in like bees headed for honey on each new tip taken by these media gods as they upload overly photoshopped pictures taken with a million dollar cameras.

Our Society's heroes are idolized less for their talents but more for their inhumane ability to receive a body that costs most than the average income of an American. But these heroes have the income to spend extensive amounts of money, cutting away pieces of them that are viewed as undesirable or enhancing their features to further flatter their artificial charm.

Millions of talented teens are confined by big noses, huge limbs, and even bigger waists. This forces these adolescents into careers taking out the trash, unclogging toilets or other possibly even more horrifying jobs suited for their repugnant bodies.

As I am surrounded by these unfortunate looking teenagers, I spent years trying to look for their talents. I realized that in order for their talents to be taken seriously, everyone's appearance would have to change and so I, with my class, went through a series of drastic physical alterations.

My glasses were reinstated with distressing contacts. My bare face was camouflaged with concealer, mascara, and every possible product sold by this multi-billion dollar industry that claims to cover up my imperfections. My clothes were bought at stores whose logos are praised by teenagers worldwide. After this, I finally started to gain the praise that my inner self so desperately deserved. I came to the realization that we are what we look like.



Upon my transformation, My life was filled with pure bliss and I wanted to share it. I realized my true calling: a beauty guru.
I spent months mending the relationships with my peers and their perfect appearance, giving them advice, rating the best makeup and talking about the best places to throw my money at. After all, this time trying to master the art of conversion. I came up with a brilliant idea that would heal the wounds of physical insecurity for all.

I imagined a world where when our gaze beamed to an iPhone, we would no longer see a foolish youtuber gaining money by giving us pointless tips on how to get a summer beach body in a week. A world where when you scrolled through Instagram, you would find things comforting and familiar rather than self-esteem shattering. A world where the 8 million Americans suffering from eating disorders would no longer be tied to measuring tape or knelt next to toilets.

The solution to this plague of insecurity is simple; make us all look the same. Upon entering high school, every teenager, regardless of their consent, will receive an appearance-altering operation. Every girl will receive an hourglass body type with lean legs, abs, and a great collarbone. Thier only choice would be being brunette. Every guy would have defined muscles and a strong body. The skin would be changed into the finest skin almost resembling silk. Teeth would look like sparkling diamonds. Every pair of eyes would be glossed and perfectly white and have 20/20 vision. Every human being, male and female alike, would have mandatory follow up operations once a year to allow each and every person to indulge and consume as much as humanly possible while still looking perfect or identical. Expenses would be covered by our media to pay us back for our troubles.

The benefits of this idea are simply immense.
 First, the shallow souls once lurking those beautiful masks would be unveiled and forced to face the truth
Secondly, every girl with a stout pubescent body but a great imagination would be discovered and able to contribute to the world.
Thirdly, people would be able to spend time mastering their real passion rather than spending time exercising!!!!
Fourthly, the overwhelming divorce rate would be cut down as people wouldn't be forced to focus on looks anymore
Fifthly people wouldn't have to spend any more money on makeup and creams that claim to work but rarely ever do.
Lastly, all those commercials that constantly bombard us with offers for dietary pills and machines that can make us burn more body sweat than possible would be eliminated. Wouldn't that be great?

As this dream is impossible and by far realistic, I do feel that the media's definition and promotion of beauty are unrealistic and dangerous for the mental stability of teenager all around the world as it sets unrealistic standards for them to reach. This is created by the media and companies in order for them to be able to offer incentives and aids to help them achieve these goals that will never happen.